My marriage has gone a little stale, and I am hoping you can help me freshen things up a bit. I have no worries about impending divorce—both my wife and I are loyal and committed to one another and our family. Still, I feel as if we have slipped into a comfort rut. The routine rules. Children, work and other responsibilities always come first, leaving little time for anything else. I am not naive enough to expect butterflies after all these years of marriage. I know we are long past the stage of animal lust—dammit! I do believe we can do better, though. Is there anything you might suggest to help us improve our relationship, and maybe even rekindle the old spark.
It sounds like you have a nice, stable marriage that could benefit from a little attention and focus. The early “in love” feeling that often leads to marriage is a thrill, and is part of our biology. That fluttery, jittery, I-can’t-eat-sleep-work-or-think-about-anything-but-you phase of a relationship plays a crucial evolutionary role. It makes us want to mate, and ensures our survival.